This is a continuation of the montage post from 2 days ago.

Man this night was a roller coaster. It seemed I could win the small/medium pot but every big pot was swept towards another player. Well till the end that is.

This table was full of call stations and passive players. It was easy to limp weird hands and try and hit. Of course I raised pretty much any pocket pair and AJ+ in position.

The night started off largely crappy. I was not in synch with the table. I tried to C-Bet with air and it took me a couple of hands to realize these people are not going to fold. It just will not happen. It was a 45 dollar lesson I learned. There was not any one hand it was about 4 AK/AQ/10-10 hands that just did not hit and I had to dump them. No biggy and none are worth discussing.

First big hand, I get 10-10 and raise it up to $12 and get 2 callers. $12-18 was about the right number for this table to have 3-4 to the flop. The flop came 8-9-3 with 2 clubs, I had the 10 of clubs in my hand. Some woman leads out for 20 and has about 35 left behind her. I reraise her all in. Why? because she was a call station, her raising and calling standards were low and I thought I was way ahead of her range. The turn and river were two clubs. I had flipped my 10's as she said call and never knew what she called with though she said she had a straight draw. Quite frankly, I had a good read on her and could not care what they were.

Next I get A-A. I raise it up to 15 preflop and get 3 callers. The flop was K-7-9 rainbow. I lead out for 30 and get one caller. A gentleman that was eerily similar to the woman. He was just awful as well. I think I saw the words "call station" tattooed to his forehead. (true story). The turn was a 3 and I put him all in and he calls after thinking about it. I flip my aces and get the "good hand" thing and he flips Q-Q. I scoop a +$200 pot. LOL I guess he thought he was ahead of me. Yeah like I play J's like that to a call station.

Next hand I get 5-7 in the BB. It is limped around with 5-6 in the pot. The flop comes 4-6-J. Some dude that bets a lot leads out for $10. I call as does the gentleman from the hand above. The turn as an eight. I check and it is checked around. shit shit shit. I thought that guy would bet as he was hanging himself all night. Oh well. The river was a 3. I lead out for 25 and the guy says after thinking about it," I think I am behind but here is the $25". He calls and thank you for the 25. He said," Well I did not put you on that, well played". Well I was going to check raise him but oh well.

Now the big hand. The dude from above bought in for more as did the call station guy. He actually won a hand and had 139 in front of him. I was close to being up 220 at this point. I had J-9 and limped in. The guy in the 5-7 hand raised it to 5. With 5 callers it was an easy decision for me to call. The flop came K-10-Q with 2 diamonds. The older guy bet out to 15 and the dude from above went all in for an extra 65. I pushed all my chips to the center. The guy looks at me and says," why would you do that I only have like 50 extra". I reminded him there were still 2 in the hand and he looks at me with this retarded look. Fucking idiot. Well the old guy calls my all in for 119 more ........ I am not liking that. Anyway I flip my J-9 and the guy mutters shit. He had K-10. The guy next to me says that is what he folded.....lol good two of his outs are gone. The turn was a black 6 good and the river was a mother fucking 3 of diamonds. The old call station tables Q-J of diamonds and I want to kill someone. He is yucking it up with a $380 pot pushed his way. Eat shit and live old man.

I was pissed. Oh well I still did not go on tilt. Why would I tilt my money off to inferior players? That would be stupid I am a professional now. I muttered 50 cocksuckers and 60 motherfuckers and confession was over.

Ok I get A-6 clubs. I limp in from ep. There are like 6 callers and the flop comes K-10-5 with 2 clubs. I bet out 10 and there are like 4 callers. The turn was a blank and I check. The old guy bets out 20 and with 2 other callers my decision was easy. The river was a 9 of clubs. I bet out 25 and the old guy calls with every one else folding. Darn I would have bet more but wanted other callers. I got a good portion of my loot back. Not enough for my greedy tastes but a portion nevertheless.

Here is where the table gets interesting. 2 friends get to the table. One was drunk off his big fat ass and had absolutely no clue how to play poker. His buddy was ok but he had no clue as to the 2nd level of poker which is "what does the other guy have?" Thankfully.

Anyway, the big fat drunk guy tilts everyone at the table. He is raising every hand and betting and reraising every flop and turn. He was hitting all kinds of shit hands and just drilling away with top pair as if that was the nuts. Funny thing is he cracked Aces and won some huge pots and got to have 500 in front of him......................LOL.

I get K-10 and the flop was 10-7-8 and the big fat guy leads out for 15 and I reraise him to 30. Drew Carrey calls as does another guy. The turn was a 6 Chubby Checker checks as does everyone else. River was a blank and again inexplicably Dom Deluise checks. (which is the first two times this dude has ever checked) I check as I was afraid of the 9. Well the one caller flips J-10 and I flip K-10 and I thought I won. Well the big mofo flips 9-2 and wins...............lmao. BTW this guy was a huge bastard maybe 380 pounds.

Two hands later I get Q-10 in the BB and the flop came 2-3-10. There are like 4 people in the hand. I check looking to check raise because believe it or not this is the perfect hand for me. Anyway the Wild Somoan looking dude bets out 20 everyone else folds and I check raise him to 50. Babe Ruth calls. The turn was a 9 and I go all in. Winston Churchill quickly folds.

I built my stack up to the same level as I had before. I was up around 190 or so. 290 including my original 100.

Now a real wacko hand. I have 3-3 in the CO. Chris Farley raises to 20, his buddy calls, it is folded to me and I call, that nutty woman moved her seat and was on the other side of me and she called. Well that call station old guy reraises all in for 79 total. John Goodman and his buddy called and I thought about it. I said WTF it was only $59 for me to call. With that much in the pot I would be silly not too. I call and then the woman thinks about it for a bit. I figured she had a mediocre pocket pair or something. She says word for word" Screw it I am here to gamble" WTF?

The flop came Q-J-2 all hearts. The Buddha checks as does his buddy and I check. The turn is a 4 of hearts and it is checked around again. The river was a 7 of hearts and it was checked around again. The old guy tables K-Q no hearts, Pavorotti A rag with no hearts and his buddy the same. I tabled my hand and had 3 of hearts wow I thought I just won a 350 pot...................wrong that stupid idiot cocksucking lady tables Q-9 with the 9 of hearts. I win a 15-20 side pot and the bitch takes the main pot. LOL I said you called with Q-9 good job. Do not get too comfortable with those chips playing that way. I did my 50 cocksuckers and motherfuckers and got my head back to the game.

Few hands later I get AA. Wooohooo. The Boss Hog and everyone else limp. F-that noise I raise it up to 30. That stupid woman calls as does a kid next to me. Flop comes K-7-5. I go all in. The woman takes a year to make her decision. She mumbles something that she should call and such and I say hey do what you want. She finally folds. The kid was ready to muck as soon as I was reaching for chips, I figured this idiot woman would call with her K-J or/KQ oh well. I laugh after she folds and say" You call with Q-9 and fold a K there? I guess my jacks were good huh?" I was a dick to her. She was just stupid not nasty or anything. Hey I can admit when I am an asshole.

Ok so I made most of the loot back from the 3-3 hand and had about 280 or so in front of me. In the meantime the Jackie Gleason lost a couple of big hands to his buddy. Now his buddy had like 400 in front of him and Orson Welles had like 200 or so in front of him. The kid next to me was tilting because he won 2 huge hands to Fred Flintstone and then John Candy won it all back and then some with a rivered 2 pair to his aces.............lol

Now the really big hand. I get 2-2 in EP. I limp as does like 3-4 people. John Belushi leads out for 8 and his buddy reraises to 15. Which is a legal bet 2 to 8 to 15. Anyway, I call as does everyone else including Oliver Hardy. Well the flop comes A-9-2 rainbow. Bingo. MobyDick leads out for 10 his buddy mini raises to 20 and I reraise to 75 total. Normally against good players that is a huge tell. Against them, now way they do not even slow down, remember second level of thinking. Captain Lou Albano raises all in and his buddy calls. I ask the dealer can I push? She says "yes" and I do. Fudgy the whales buddy takes a few minutes and calls the extra $$ for an extra 216 above my 75 raise. I table my set and said," I finally trapped them" The buddy had A-J and Cartman had A-rag as I could not see his other card. The turn was a 6 and the river a 5. I scoop a $740 pot. Wooooooooooooohoooooooooo.


I get A-6 of diamonds. The old call station raises to 10. I had limped prior from EP there was like 3 callers so I call. Shit I had like 720 in front of me so why not. The flop comes 3-8-10 with 2 diamonds. The old dude was SB he leads for 15 there were 2 other callers so I call. The turn was the J of diamonds. Wooohooo. The old guy leads out for 25 everone folds to me and I just call. The river was a K and he checks this time. I bet out 50 bucks figuring, " why not he may call". About the time I heard a train whistle ............ I distinctly heard "Welcome aboard the value bet express, nest stop call station". Call he did. I table my nut flush and he just mucks his hand forcibly.

hahahahah I can go on busting you up all night. Well I thought that but never said it. I told the guy next to me ,"that guy has been paying me off all night." He left broke a couple of hands later after reaching in his pocket to the tune of 4-500 bucks.

About that time, Emperor Nero left the table completely broke.

My last hand I get KK and raise it up to 20. The old bag calls as does the buddy. flop comes A-J-4. I check as does everyone else. The turn was a blank and the lasy leasd out for 15. I laugh and fold KK face up. She missed it somehow. It ends up she won the hand with A-8. The table broke up about that time as the old guy and a few other left.

I apologized to the lady for acting like a fuckwad. No lie, I told her I should exhibit a modicum of professionalism as I am there every night and it is her money to play as awfully as she wishes.......................LOL, I left out the last part. Anyway my play with 3-3 was no great shakes either but fucking Q-9os.................GMAMFB. Anyway she thanked me and I wished her luck.

I left up 595. It should have been more I suppose as I lost a couple of those pots and gave the dealer 25 bucks in that big pot. That is really stupid for me to do that. Oh well karma baby.

Anyway being up 500+ is pretty damn hard in this game as it is 100 max. So you have to stack quite a bit to get it.

I took my Dad out to the diner and treated him to whatever he wanted as he was at the casino as well playing the 1-2 "please shoot me if I ever play that garbage again" limit no foldem holdem.

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"A tell is a gesture that lets others know what kind of cards he's holding. In other words, if every time one player thinks he's holding the best hand he then urinates all over himself, that would be a tell.- Mr. Cranky Movie Critic

well done. sets and flushes make poker easy don't they?

Well done Miami...How long were you playing that night?

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Great report!

I could not stop laughing at all those references, that shit was pure comedy.

Great stuff man. You have an amazing ability to reference so many funny fat people. It gave me a good laugh that I really needed today!

Thank you!

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That's my favorite Miami quote of the day but the Boss Hogg one made me LOL the loudest.

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They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan