Impromptu game at bro-in-law's house
I wake up on Saturday after the home game about 3 pm and start taking orders from the wife. We pack up and get in the car to head out to her sister's house for a kid's birthday party. We show up 3 hours late and I'm tired as hell still. I start fucking with the bro-in-law about poker within the first 8 seconds of showing up. Evidently they have planned to play because they know I'm coming.
We started playing washers (similar to horseshoes but a little more redneck) for money and I won about $40 from him on that. He offers to bet me double or nothing for any game I want to play. I say, "Okay, you pick your three smartest friends and I'll bet $1000 against $100 that you can't beat my wife in Boggle if you put all of your scores together". He doesn't take it and I laugh at him. This forces him to start the poker sooner.
Finally we get a game going. I am super tired and half drunk when we get started so I'm playing like Gus Hansen on crack. We started with .25/.50 blinds and the max buy in is only $40 and I'm fucking with everyone just for fun. I git my money in good once and lost after establishing my maniac image. Then I had a semi-bluff oesd called with bottom pair and lost another $40.
I finally started winning. I busted one guy and cashed an $80 check so he could keep playing. He busted and left.
Realpoor was kicking ass with a borrowed $40 for a while when this hand comes up. I have :4c: :4d: and I call the .50 from the button. The flop comes out :Jd: :Js: :4s: and he bets out $5. I raise to $15 and he re-raises to $40. He isn't a bluffer so I push and he calls almost $300 and shows :Jc: :Kd: . He looks at me like I just shook my dick at is mom and then offers to deal for me and the bro in law heads up (he's a great guy). I promise him a $20 when I bust donkey boy if he's still dealing.
I have no cards but I can read Tate (bro-in-law) pretty good and I pull off some bluffs when he bets hands that I don't think he likes that well. I show them all so I can get called with a good hand but I don't ever get a good hand that gets action. Late game I've lost a good bit and he has me covered, I make a bluff when I know he has only a small piece of the flop. He calls with bottom pair because I was successful in convincing him that I would do that with nothing and I'm busto. Stupid, stupid, stupid bluff. I could have waited.
I offered to add an extra $100 if he'd play me a tournament for his roll (about $500). I called him a big pussy. I told him he was scared and I understood that he was afraid of me. I offered to give him $50 to play me and raise the blinds to $2/$4. I begged. Nothing worked and I'm done. Fuck that was so much free money. Instead I'm down $160 ish and he claimed his wife wouldn't let him play with that money today. Of course I fucked with him all day but he didn't want to play anymore.
The kids organized a backyard football game; concession stand, cheerleaders, national anthem, video tape, opening ceremony, everything. I was stuckon the girl's team because no one else would play. I have my 10 yr old daughter and my sister-in-law (Amy). Amy throws 3 interceptions in a row and I take over the QB job down two. Our only TD came from my interception. I've only slept 4 or 5 hours so I'm tired as shit.
Then Tate finally gives hi son the ball and I'm looking to intercept again. I read the play pretty good and am able to barely tip the ball in front of him. He (along with his 250 lb ass) reaches over me and catches the ball as we both fall. He of course lands on top of me with an elbow in my back. I don't get the full weight of it but I need a second to get my breath.
We are two TDs up at halftime and 1/3 of my team (one person) quits. I recruit my other sis-in-law for one down. She fucks up the play and quits. I get the other one back for one down and she throws another interception for a TD. I get Realpoor (yeah he hangs out with us a lot) off the sidelines and he tries to run from QB. Tate calls BS because the kids didn't rush yet (his rules). I say that it doesn't matter because he can go back and it won't matter. So Tate says, "No that's fucked up, throw me the ball". Then he catches it and runs it in. I laugh and we quit. He says he won it and of course we say he cheated.
Then we went inside and everyone watched my head bounce off the ground on video about 100 times.
I gave him my set of Copag cards and offered to pay his wife $200 if she'd get him to come to my home game 3 weeks in a row. I doubt I'll see him there but I'll get it back when I do play him again.
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They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan
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Rakeback and Bonus Offers
09-16-2007, 08:36 PM
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