Please? Can someone fucking tell me?

Can someone fucking tell me what to fucking do when you're on the SB with AK and the button pushes his fucking shortstack at you and he has Q3s? What do you do? Because I reraise the BB out and apparently I need him in it because the shortstack is going to FUCKING CREAM ME.

Then you flop 2 pair in the BB and our shortstack friend calls your pot bets on the flop and 3/4 on the turn to hit his flush on the river and put the rest of his stack in. What do you do? Because I call knowing he hit the flush fucking again

And you raise AJ only to have the little fucker push all in for $40 on a $200 table. What do you do?

And then another guy hangs with you to the river then pushes when the flush card hits, only he has enough left that I fold.

And then they fucking hit their 8338 board with 8Q against your AA?

And you've only been dealt 70 hands so far.

What do you do? How do fucking beat them?

I really want to know.

When you have KK and they go all in pre flop with JTo how do you beat them? Because I can't do it.

Or when your girlfriend sees the pot get pushed just now and says "I thought you said "stone cold nuts?" and you say "That was the turn. He was shortstack so he was gunna get one of those remaining 2 cards" and she says "I don't know why stone-cold nuts would be a good thing anyway because if your nuts were stone cold that would really suck.

Yes it would. Yes it would.

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES

I'm serious? WHat the fuck do you do? WHat do you do here?

Full Tilt Poker, $1/$2 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 9 Players
LeggoPoker.com Hand History Converter

Hero (MP1): $145.90
MP2: $97.60
CO: $197
BTN: $46.80
SB: $35.65
BB: $135.10
UTG: $153.25
UTG+1: $31.75
UTG+2: $197

Pre-Flop: :Kc: :Kh: dealt to Hero (MP1)
3 folds, Hero raises to $7, 3 folds, SB raises to $35.65 and is All-In, BB folds, Hero calls $28.65

Flop: ($73.30) :Jc: :Ad: :Jd: (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

Turn: ($73.30) :8d: (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

River: ($73.30) :7d: (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

Results: $73.30 Pot ($3 Rake)
Hero showed :Kc: :Kh: (two pair, Kings and Jacks) and LOST (-$35.65 NET)
SB showed :Kd: :As: (a flush, Ace high) and WON $70.30 (+$34.65 NET)

What the FUCK do you have to do to win one of these fucking hands against these pushing FUCKERS?

WHAT?!?!??

When might I win one of these?/ 2011 maybe? FUCKKIHF

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES

Then they fucking use your own fucking money to FUCKZIG re fucking dounble you up[ right away the FUCKING JJKDNHSKJ

Full Tilt Poker, $1/$2 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 8 Players
LeggoPoker.com Hand History Converter

Hero (MP2): $123
CO: $194
BTN: $42.35
SB: $66.30
BB: $130.10
UTG: $122.25
UTG+1: $42.50
MP1: $197.80

Pre-Flop: :Ad: :Kd: dealt to Hero (MP2)
2 folds, MP1 raises to $7, Hero raises to $21, 2 folds, SB raises to $66.30 and is All-In, 2 folds, Hero calls $45.30

Flop: ($141.60) :5c: :7d: :2h: (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

Turn: ($141.60) :9d: (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

River: ($141.60) :Qh: (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

Results: $141.60 Pot ($3 Rake)
Hero showed :Ad: :Kd: (Ace King high) and LOST (-$66.30 NET)
SB showed :Kh: :Kc: (a pair of Kings) and WON $138.60 (+$72.30 NET)

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES

Classic BFZ, great post Johnny.

Seriously man if these hands are indicative then you're doing nothing wrong. Keep posting though, maybe something will throw up a red flag.

__________________
I have been blogging. Last updated April 29th. http://www.feltpoker.com/blogs/ugignadl/

Ugi, my brother. I hate when they double up on me. I really do. But.. when they take my money then use it to double up on me within 1 round before I can even reload.

Man.

Man.

It does things to my head. You know?

You know, don'tcha man?

TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW!!!

And it's not the money, really, cuz after what is now 227 hands of this shit all on $200 tables I'm down a total of $5.90. Guys who play 25/13 with full stacks I can beat. I just can't beat these fuckers!

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES

nevermind KK < 99 i'm down $80 more..... he was shortstacked

and he didn't hit a set

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES

Yeah, I know. It's even worse where I play live, because there the max buyin is 40BBs. That means the table is replete with annoying shortstacks. It's a minefield.

Good luck for the rest of the night man!

__________________
I have been blogging. Last updated April 29th. http://www.feltpoker.com/blogs/ugignadl/

99 < TKs on a 5 handed table. Bastard called my PFR and all my bets to the river where he hit his pair. Down $300 now after a few other choice hands. Now I can sufficiently hate again.

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES

The woman knows her nuts. :D

LOL, best kind!

__________________
Blog Updated 6/21, Oooops, I'm goin to Vegas in a few days.
11:09:32 PM Randy: limit poker is easy
11:19:03 PM Randy: ok, i suck at teh limit

Mirage: FU PKOER
Mirage: F
Mirage: U
Mirage: FUFUFU
Mirage: up a $1.45 still YES